Looking Back

Hello all!

Some of you may have wondered why I've dropped the ball on this blog of mine. Others may have not even known I ever had one to begin with. Then, the rest of you are just binge watching netflix and not caring one iota about some random girl who's written a blog! (haha)

Eight years ago I started out on a journey with an idea in mind, walking with out shoes. In other words, instead of of the saying "walk a mile in my (or their) shoes" take the shoes off completly and walk in love. Today, in a world of quaruntine, I wondered if I could even get into my old blog. I dusted off the password and began to re read all my entries. WOW, at the grammar issues is the first thing I thought! However, then I realized how much I'd grown. It's amazing to look back on! I had the unction to fix all my mistakes and even delete some posts as I blushed at what I had written, but the today me felt a little grace for myself. So, I decided to keep everything as it was as a reminder of how much I've grown personally. I also had to allow myself a little grace for falling off the wagon of such a great heartfelt mission. I reminded myself, I didn't actually drop the ball, I just hid it from the blogging community! The eb and flow of life is such a wonderous thing and seeing it in written form was a little overwhelming emotionally. So, I hit the new post button and began to type.

Now, I haven't decided if this is a one time entry until I decide to open it back up a year or two from now, just to be hit with the same wave of emotions, or if I'm picking it back up for good. I feel like maybe this is a take it as it comes thing and we'll see where it goes. That's all I can expect of myself for now. Although, I can't tell you how good it feels to be quiet enough to even have the thought process to be writing a new post!

With this Corona thing going on right now, I can only write about how grateful I am to be who I am and live where I live. I'm hoping that the slowing down of things can be a time to re evaluate our lives and get back on track with loving one another as human beings. It saddens me a little to think that it took something this grandious to slow us down. My hope that is in the future this will serve as a reminder to stop and breathe before we're forced to again!

For now, I think I've written enough to move on to the next  task today. I've looked back on my journey and I've made a personal check in on my accountability that my shoes are still "off". I'm still walking in love. I have good and bad days of course, but my heart is still on the mission. I'll leave you with this scripture until next time... 

What Kind of Heart?

What kind of heart goes through its own pain and looks away when other hearts are bleeding? Life is hard. It rips you to shreds and beats your left over pieces into the dirt sometimes. Other times it lifts you up on the current of the free flowing wind and lets you glide the ride. I've come out of a dark tunnel that I never stopped searching for the light in. It was gruesome but I never quit looking for the end and the light. The Lord was always there. He's the only thing I never let go of all while shedding the things I needed to let go of to get to the end of this particular season. Now that I'm through it, I've noticed other bleeding hearts finding their way into my life. To heal, to fix, to mend? I don't quite think it's those things I'm supposed to do for them. Guide and encourage? Yes!  We are all busy. We have jobs, families, meetings, plans, volunteering, obligations, friends, church, practices, projects, bills, and priorities. All of which take our full attention. All those things loaded onto a person who's in pain can be crippling! All those things loaded onto a person who half way has their life and emotional well being together is still severely hard! But, what kind of a heart goes through its own pain and looks away when other hearts are bleeding?  We have no idea where the other person is in their pain. No, we don't own it. It is not ours to carry. We do not hold a complete responsibility to fix anyone else's pain! But, what kind of a heart goes through its own pain and looks away when other hearts are bleeding? We may have something very important in front of us in a moment that requires our attention. Something that you may even have repercussions from if you take your attention away from it and give your time and attention in that moment to another bleeding heart. But, what kind of a heart goes through its own pain and looks away when other hearts are bleeding? Is it worth it to sacrifice a priority or obligation for a few moments to help comfort a soul in pain? What is that moment of relief worth to a person in pain? Priceless, maybe! So, what kind of a heart goes through its own pain and looks away when other hearts are bleeding? Not mine! Will yours?

Do you have a simple plan?

One that only you understand?

Do you have a grateful life?

One you can be proud of inside?

Do you have a loving heart?

One that helps others start?

Do you have a peaceful mind?

One which your soul combines?

Do you have moving feet?

Ones that carry you through defeat?

Do you have a pure name?

One that doesn't bring you shame?

Do you have the life you want?

One that doesn't put up a front?

Do you know how to let it all go?

Caring not of what you think you know?

These are questions inside of me!

As strong as the current in the deep blue sea!

You gave me intuition to know what I am missing.

You help guide me through the storm that is twisting.

In You I find all the answers I'm needing.

Your peace and love are always fulfilling!

(BTW..Still trying to love with feet. Walking out my days without shoes on. Feeling, baring, loving, living and giving.. Just not posting as much about it lol. I'm still here folks. Living it all out one day at a time, holding His hand.)

~MO

Waiting on God

A while back I had to take my son Tyson to the doctor for a swollen knee. Each step kept getting scarier. The doctor lead to the ER. The ER lead to tests and X-rays. Test and X-rays lead to another test to get fluid out of his knee that was infected.  That lead to surgery to clean it out which lead to a week in the hospital which lead to Tyson having Lyme disease. But that is not what this story is about! Tyson is well and healed and thankfully so! What I didn't realize was that while God was taking care of my son he was also taking care of ME! During surgery they sent us to the wrong waiting room and we waited much longer than we should have in and it was eerily quiet. No one was around. No one called us when our son was out of surgery! When I called them they said my number was disconnected which it was not! Just a mess of a long long moment of waiting! When I got there I saw a toy that had three scriptures written on it.  When I saw the toy I was at a point in my life where I was begging God to let me out of it. I was deeply hurting. I was tired. Forcing smiles. Sad. Just about hopeless! I felt utterly alone and only felt His presence in worship and song. I was walking a dangerous line with my emotions. The educated Christian in me knew He was there but the fleshly emotional me just couldn't feel Him. I "prayed" ,more like begged, that God would open my eyes to understand and see. "Why God, can't you hear me!? Aren't you there?", I would say! Being at this point and acting this way in my life I couldn't figure out what the world those scriptures were on that toy in front of me for. They didn't make sense to me for the situation at the time being there in the hospital with my son. Because, you know like we all do, we think everything has to have a meaning and a reason why it happened or why it's there so when we can't find one we are disappointed! I decided just to take a picture of the toy.  Life went on. Tyson got better as I kept  believing he would and I was still trudging forward. We began a bible study called A Woman's Heart about the tabernacle at church and around the same time Pastor spoke a sermon that broke my toes! It was on how to pray! He basically told me that I was belly aching when I prayed and didn't use my authority and he was right!  He explained How we already know God wants our Healing but that He needs us to work with Him and speak it. Don't beg God to do it, it's already been done! But instead agree with Him and speak the authority He already gave us against the things we pray for. So after that I began to pray differently! Saying, "God I thank you for giving me eyes that see! I thank you that I will have open eyes to see what I need to, to see and hear you more." I began to pray and say "I call my heart and mind healed, whole, clear and happy."At that same time the sermon happened a part of the bible study rocked my world. It allowed me to open my heart and forgive a person in my life I had been denying I even needed to forgive. I remind you this study is about how God made a place to meet with His people, the tabernacle. It's been about walking through the wilderness and Him showing us things and guiding us along the way but yet we can still be so blind. Even so, He is still there every step of the way! Every single heart wrenching, heavy step!! Okay back to the toy in the waiting room with the scriptures. After that time had passed I was feeling better about life and my walk with God. I was seeing clearer, feeling not so alone, and praying with intent instead of grumbling. I happened to come across the picture I took of the toy and I read the scriptures again. Revelation 21: 3,4 was the last scripture on that toy and it was for me! It says this; And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” (‭Revelation‬ ‭21‬:‭3-4‬ NKJV) He was after me in the wilderness! It was right there for me to see but I was blind in the waiting room! (Hmm isn't that interesting I was waiting on God to do something within me in that waiting room and I missed it then,  BUT He was STILL there! I was the one who wasn't there!) Not until I began to move with Him and walk the rest of the road in the wilderness out instead of waiting on Him would that click with me. I am still in awe at the things He did and He does for me and I say right now that you will have clear hearts, eyes and minds to see the works He's doing for you too in Jesus name!  I hope this has blessed you! Have a wonderful weekend! 

It's okay to wear shoes sometimes!

I always seem to shy away from keeping this blog up. Life grabs hold of you and it doesn't let go. Even still I try to keep a sharp mind about me when it comes to walking without shoes. I have found though that if you walk without shoes, any shoes what so ever for too long of a period of time...you hurt your feet. Or in less metaphorical terms, your heart. I often wonder why it is that I was called to set out on this journey. At first I thought it was to help others, and of course it's always about helping others, but what I have come to realize is that it was also a lesson in how to take care of myself as well. Let me explain. 

When I started this blog I was at a high point in my life. Things were looking up. I came up and out of a dark place in my life realizing that I had what it took to do what I could to give back to His people. My career was looking up, my relationship with God was turning out to be out of this world (ha! excuse me while I giggle at my unintentional pun), and I had a heart on fire for wanting others to feel the peace and joy that I had in my soul. I was finding things that I loved again and sharing them with people I loved in the very same moment! I was on a mission, staying busy, living life, giving all of me to humanity, wanting others to have what I had which was God's love. That is a GREAT and AWESOME thing to do and way to be but... 

Once you walk for so long without shoes, giving all you can as you walk along in life, you eventually start to wear down. Your feet begin to have cracks in them. They begin to get dirty and dry. Shriveling up until you just can't walk anymore. My mistake is and was that I just kept going. Not paying any attention to what was happening to me. Not caring that it was me who was getting hurt. Not stopping to rest, cleanse, and mend the cracks. I'm realizing that I started out wanting to mend all others cracks, giving them rest, helping them cleanse. I never realized that if I did that for too long without caring for myself that I would end up just like them. Needing help too. Finding myself back in the dark place I came out of. Here's the kicker, I kept lying to myself saying that, "I didn't need the rest". That denying myself care was giving true love to others. "There are too many things to do." "I could do it!" "I had it handled." "I could keep going forever like this." I could bare what I had to to make sure that I was doing what needed to be done to love on people. But with every crack, every new day without rest or cleansing I became bitter. I became bruised, sad, hurt, and broken. Imagine walking every day with all of those feelings and still trying to give what you had. Are your really giving anything good? Or are you seeping your hurt onto others at that point? 

My plan of action was never to hurt anyone. To always show that I cared but I ended up doing just the opposite of that after a certain point. Was I hurting strangers that I was giving to and helping? No. Did people in my church family seem to be hurting because I kept volunteering? No. It was myself and my closest loved ones that were being hurt. Seeing the ugly side of me with all the bruises and cracks. Lashing out in pain. That was never my intention. That's when I realized I had to take a step or two backward, put my shoes back on and re evaluate what I was trying to do and how I wanted to accomplish it. It was tough taking a look in the mirror and realizing that the good you wanted to spread was turning into bad because I didn't want to stop and take care of myself.

My point to this blog entry and of this entire blog was to share my story. My journey on how to walk in love. I'm hear to tell you that I've learned an enormous life lesson! Stop to rest. Stop to mend your wounds. Stop to wash off all the dirt that falls on you from putting yourself in positions to get down and dirty to love on others. Don't deny yourself the same love you want to give others. YOU (I) deserve it too! Now if that's not a message of love I'm not sure what is. Happy traveling without shoes my fellow servants of love and remember to wear them when you NEED to! 

~Megs

Spinning

Well. My journey on A Day Without Shoes has been ongoing even though I haven't kept up with it here. Life has been spinning so fast that I have not had a chance to catch up with my thoughts. I have deep soul baring thoughts and emotions that are screaming to get out its been so long since I have written. The last 6, 8 months or so have been a whirl wind of change. I feel unsteady and about to fall any minute. I feel like I have walked without shoes for so long that now I need to put some back on and focus on me. But only for a second.................. Ahhhh. That's better! I'm writing and thinking. Which is what I love to do. Now back to the journey...

 I once told a friend that I wanted the super power of reading everyone's minds. That I would LOVE to know what everyone thought so I could know the reasoning behind their actions and words. I thought that would be very helpful on my journey. That I would have an advantage at knowing what people were going through so I could control how I treated them better. This friend told me it would break my heart. That I wouldn't be able to bare it for long. I got a glimpse into some peoples minds not long after that conversation and you know what? They were right. You know something else? I'm a sucker for punishing myself and I still want that super power. I think that if I could somehow make everyone else on this planet just a tad bit happier then it would be worth sacrificing my own happiness. That's what choices are all about right? No matter what choice you make in life there are reasoning's behind it. If I could see everyone's reasons I could make sure that I could do whatever it was that I could to make sure they wouldn't have to use their reasons. Because we all know that if they thought differently about their reasons they may do things differently. Or better yet if I were ever part of the reason they would or would not do what they truly wanted to do then I could help with that too.  I can hear a certain family member of mine saying that is your co-dependent mentality speaking right there! (Thanks Beth! lol) I know I need to accept the things I can not change and have the courage to change the things I can. I know that having these thoughts won't change the fact that I truly can't control or change what other people do or don't do or think or don't think but they are nice thoughts to have. Thoughts of being a super hero! The super hero of love and happiness! Wishes that will never come true which I do realize. I am glad that I am aware of this and have people I can talk to about it.

Okay, so what do I do from here. How do I cope with the fact that I can't have these powers? How do I cope with the fact that life isn't always what we want it to be or how we want it to be. How do I cope with the fact that I can't make everyone happy even if I try walking in their shoes to see how I can change myself to better the world? I keep trudging through life with my God by my side. I talk to Him, let Him speak to me, and feel Him there with me. Hold His hand and let Him carry my foot steps. Because when all is said and done that's where I'll be. With Him. This is not easy. This is something that a lot of people do not agree with. But that's okay. I'm used to being the weird one anyway lol.

Until next time.. think about what super power you would like to have and why you would like to have it? How would you use it and what would you be using it for? To better the world? Or your own benefit? Or both? Either way what are you going to do with what you got to make this world a better place to live?

<3
Megs

Who are we who judge?

"Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers
Nobody knows what we're for only what we're against when we judge the wounded
What if we put down our signs crossed over the lines and loved like You did"

These are some words from a song that I really love. Words so powerful and true!

This is also a great quote:

“Who are you to judge the life I live?
I know I'm not perfect
-and I don't live to be-
but before you start pointing fingers...
make sure your hands are clean!”

Most of us know who the second one is by. A lot less of us know where the first one comes from. These two quotes are from very different worlds but share common ground on a very strong issue. Lots of people use the Bob Marley quote to justify their wrong behavior in some way. Not saying that's how he intended it (I love me some Bob!) and definitely not how I take it but its like people use it to put things back on the other person who is judging if you will. The other quote is as if we are accepting that we all judge. Since we are not perfect I've learned that I'm gonna judge and so saying to someone else "make sure your hands are clean before you judge" is like a parent telling their child not to do something knowing good and well that they did it to when they were kids. It is a great lesson to teach but something that was no way possible for us to avoid doing ourselves. So what do we do? How do we avoid it? Take the last line of the first quote for example. Put down all our differences and cross over. Spend time in the others state of feelings and or way of life and learn to love them! This is not the same as agreeing with them or practicing what you may not like about them, it is simply caring for them as a human being and loving them. I also love the second line of the first quote because in the smokey air of judging someone else all that person see's is what we don't like or what would be the negative to them. They don't see our good side and what we may both like or agree on. It makes me sad that both sides can be so blind.

I realize that  I have a whole array of friends and family who read this. Some of you know each other and most of you don't. Some of you are from opposite sides of the spectrum and others of you are in the middle like me. Either way I wanted to share with you who actually was able to do the things we wish we could. Jesus! Now before some of you say whoa Megan I'm done reading your blog, hear me out. I normally wouldn't say something like this but I am coming into my own and finally learning how to be free, to be me in my whole walking without shoes journey. Anyway what I was saying was, He loved everyone no matter what. Always! Now like I said some of you may believe in Him some of you may not. So even if all of us who do believe in Him were wrong and He is just another story, (which I believe in him with my whole heart) isn't it an amazing one that we could use as a basis on how we should treat one another? Recently I have learned who He actually was/is and not who I thought or what society now days portrays Him to be. I've started doing my homework and all in all Jesus is an awesome guy! Never hurt anyone, never said a mean thing to anyone, and loved everyone for who they were. He even took all the reticule  and hatred that He was given and made it positive. Now who of you doesn't want to know someone like that? Anyway my point is that we will struggle on our walks with no shoes but we can hold on to the little quotes we find and the role models we choose to be like and follow them and ask for help cause lord knows this is hard to do on our own. We may find them in different places but no matter the place we find them most of us want the same thing. Hence my two different quotes above.

 So my hope for the moment, as I journey forward, for myself and all of you is that we can: "Open our eyes to the end of our pointing fingers and make sure our hands (or feet) get clean in the end" I love you guys! <3

Where The Heart Is

Hi!

I know it has been way tooooo long! I just got back from Somotillo Nicaragua last Saturday night. It was amazing! Since it has been so long since I have made a post I thought what better thing to write about other than my trip! :)

 My heart is torn. My whole thing of walking without shoes has an entire different meaning now. I knew there were people in the world who didn't have shoes but WOW! Nicaragua is the second poorest country beside Haiti being the first. All that "poorness" aside though they are one of the richest countries I have ever seen with LOVE! They stole my heart! Now that I am back I feel like a piece of me is missing. I also felt a piece of me missing while I was there since my boys were home. The funny thing is that no matter where I am I guess I will always have a sense of brokenness in my heart. My father always used to say to me "Megan! Never give your whole heart away" I am finding that more and more hard to do the older I get. I have bits and pieces of my heart in many different places but the one thing that makes it feel whole is to know that God has placed these places and people in my life for a reason and that my heart has become a puzzle for a reason. I guess my whole puzzle piece of a heart can be placed back together again when I get to Heaven. :) Seeing the whole picture one day will be one amazing site!

While I was in Nicaragua it was so refreshing to not have to ever think of all the judgmental things that people always talk about here. My past and just being a creature of habit tried to bring all that negativity with me but I was quickly taught that its not like that there. Or at least what I experienced wasn't. We looked different from each other and even spoke a different language but we both still felt the language of love and music. I did learn a few words in Spanish and some of them knew a little bit of English.  Enough to get me by to; one be able to communicate that "Jesus is the light" (Jesús es la luz) to the people in the villages, and two; to  be able to haggle with the shop keepers at the airport after all our interpreters had left us.

While I was struggling to handle holding the glow in the dark tattoos I brought them and the water and cloth to put them on their arms at the same time a young lady said no words. She just saw my need and began to help me. She would pour the water on the cloth when I needed it and would open the tattoo packages when I needed it as well. She waited patiently while all the other children got one and then it was time to go. Since she showed me such kindness I couldn't leave without giving her one so while we were praying I quickly gave her one! (sshh! Don't tell anyone I wasn't paying attention to the prayer that one time!)

At another village called "Ojoche" I got to sing during a Sunday afternoon church service. I was very nervous and just knew it was going to go terribly. I was so wrong! They liked my song just as much as I loved theirs. There were some boys that were clapping along to all the songs that were played that day and they were reallly getting into it! I loved knowing that even though we couldn't understand each others words we could understand the wonderful feeling that music has to offer us.

As the week went on I began to get very sad. I didn't want to leave these beautiful people behind. We had so much to offer each other. At one point on the van going back to Managua we stopped to let one of our translators out so he could catch another bus back to his home town. I didn't realize we were saying goodbye to him before we got back to the city. Since I was already sad in the first place when he got out of the van I just broke down. His name was Roger and he is a wonderful guy! So willing to help whenever and wherever needed. He always made sure we were all together keeping a head count on us. Making sure we didn't forget anything and just truly a nice guy! I enjoyed getting to know him in the little bit of time I did even if wasn't his whole life story I learned enough about him to know I gained a friend. All the interpreters were AMAZING people! I came to love them all and can not wait to see them again next year!

 I hated leaving but was VERY happy to give my boys a HUGE hug! Now that I am back in the states I can't wait to go back to Nicaragua and give them a HUGE hug! I guess this will be a beautiful never ending circle of life, love, and compassion. I have only just begun to tell you about my trip but there is just no way to get it all out in one go so  till next time I leave you with a few of my favorite pics from the trip. Hope you enjoy!

PEACE!

No shoes for my Birthday

Today, the day after my birthday I am going to share with you something I normally would not share with anyone. In the past I would just keep it to myself. Well not today. :) Yesterday I woke up in a good mood of course because of what day it was but my mood quickly turned from there. I became sad and my feelings got hurt. My son's didn't tell me Happy Birthday (which told me that my husband must not have reminded them) and my husband took well until I was just about to walk out the door to mention it and when my son's finally did figure out it was my birthday my youngest said "well fine then NOT happy birthday to you" because I wouldn't let him go outside and play when it was time to be getting ready and eating breakfast. Needless to say I suddenly became bummed out. Feeling down on myself I set out to work saying a prayer that my day would turn around. It took getting through the day to realize how crucial it is to pay attention to your emotions because they are actually indicators not dictators. Indicators on how you feel so you can sort through them and feel better NOT to dictate how the rest of your day will go. In the past I would dwell on the emotions I felt that morning allll day long. Not now! I started to realize this when some people very dear to me gave me a mug for my birthday. The mug had a saying on it that said: "this is my wish for you: comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, hugs when spirits sag, sunsets to warm your heart, friendships to brighten your being, beauty for your eyes to see, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, patience to accept the truth, courage to know yourself, and love to complete your life." I immediately felt an array of emotions.  I felt Disappointment in myself on how I had felt about my loved ones actions that morning, Love for having such amazing people in my life, and I felt determination that I would learn from my morning by realizing that if I could just remind myself daily that the wish this person had for me is the same wish I have for my family and others that I may not have reacted the way I did over their actions. If I could apply those wishes to my own life and wish them for myself then I could change the way my feelings make me behave. I miss judged my family that morning. I miss judged that my husband forgot my birthday when in reality he was still waking up and in the bed when I left and my children, well I remind them lots of things daily and they still forget. My youngest was only doing the same thing I was doing and letting his emotion dictate instead of indicate. (I learned that I must work on that with my children) I let my emotions dictate how the rest of my day would go instead of letting them be an indicator on how I needed to change myself for the better. It took one simple special gift to teach me a huge lesson that I thought I already knew. I knew how I felt about my family and my wishes for them but I needed to exercise it and my internal problems hindered me from that. I realized for the first time in my life that I had not been walking bare foot with my family. I have been trying my hardest to do this with the rest of the world not realizing that I was leaving some very special people out on my mission. I vowed to myself that I would no longer exclude them on my journey to walk barefoot.

Yesterday ended up being a awesome day! Although I received lots of love and gifts from a lot of rockin people that I love dearly the biggest and best gift I received on my birthday was from myself and it was yet another grand lesson on walking barefoot.

So its been a while....

Hi guys! It has been a while since I've been able to get on here and post something but guess what? When you start a journey and pray about it God sure does take you straight on thru it! Walking with out shoes has been one of the hardest most eye opening experiences I've ever challenged myself to do! Oh I have had LOTS of things I have wanted to just get on here immediately and vent about but I knew that if I did that my raw emotions may be poured out when it might not have been what I was truly feeling. OR I knew it was wrong to feel that way and I wanted to stay true to my journey SO, I hope you understand my prolonged absence. BUT, I'mmmm baacckk! haha :) Since I have written last my life has taken some twists and turns and mostly for the good. New beginnings are ahead and I've had lots of firsts in my life this past year (including this blog) and many new ones to come.   I have lived and learned a lot of life's lessons including but not limited to; who your real friends are, why you should and/or should not do something important to you, handle your self in a raw and ugly position, be nice even when you don't want to, stand up for myself, be a better mom and wife, never give up, forgive, and finally let go.. Those were just to name a few lol :) Anyhow, all of those things came with a tough situation and tough decisions all in which I am happy with my choices. Every single choice changed myself, my family, my friends, and our everyday life. I had to ponder, pray, and be sure that I would not regret any choice I made which includes the judgements I felt I was doing on others and how others would judge me. I realized though in the midst of all of it that non of it mattered. What mattered was that I stayed true to my beliefs while respecting myself and all of those around me. As long as I got those two things in the bag all my decisions would turn out okay. God has our back and he is our ultimate judge. I have noticed that while the journey to live without shoes is hard and will stay hard it also seems easier. The decision to be this way is hard and takes a lot of mental work but life allllll around you seems to get easier after you make the choice to be considerate and not let hate live in your heart. It's funny how things can be two opposite things at once but they can be! I never thought it possible but then there is something else I learned! IT'S POSSIBLE!!! What's possible you ask? ANYTHING! Healing, Miracles, Love, a better world! It's all possible if you just believe and do your part! You can change the world around you with one small step at a time! Which leads me to share some good news on where my bare feet are taking me. In October I will be heading off to Nicaragua on a mission trip! I am wayyyyy excited! I can not wait to see what this trip has in store for not only me but those who are going with me and specially those who we will be helping when we get there. This trip is a big deal for me! For those of you who know me know I've only been as far as the car I was in could take me which is far south as Florida, as far north as New Jersey, as far west as GA/TN and as far east as well here good ol VA. I've never been on a plane and here my first flight will be to a third world country. How's that for gettin her done? Anyway, I think I have bore you enough with my writings but I hope to be keeping up with my journey a little better than I have been and I hope you will still walk without shoes with me one day at a time and PLEASE if you haven't before let me know your experiences. I would love to hear them!

<3 Megan

The Kind of Judgement No One Cares About

So I thought I would take a break from all of the deep stuff I've been writing. (I need a break! The harder I try the heavier my heart feels.)  I did realize something new about myself though. I was looking up pictures from The Hunger Games movie. (I am almost finished with the 3rd book) A thought crossed my mind. "From now on Megan if you say a book looks stupid you should read it anyway!"

I said this to myself because every time I think a book looks stupid or I think I wouldn't like it and resist from reading it I get told a million times about how good it is and I ignore the people who tell me to read it. Then one day (after they have either made a movie about it or the sensation has grown cold) I finally read it and guess what.. yup! I LOVE IT! So I figure THIS right here is where the statement "never judge a book by its cover" came from! (yup, I got some blonde in me!) I always thought it was something some teacher or parent made up to help us to learn not to under estimate, judge, or pick on people. Which of course it is used for that as well but I never realized how literal I should take it!

It all began with the Twilight series. ( I know, I know, gimme a break will ya? lol ) It came out and I thought to myself oh geez oh stupid! I hate vampire stuff. I have never liked it so why would I like this book? How can a vampire story be a love story? No one could EVER love a vampire! I was told by a friend just give it a try and if you don't like it then just give it back. So I finally said alright. I started to read the book and to my amazement I absolutely loved it! I finished all the books in a matter of 2 weeks! Stephanie Meyer definitely put her heart and imagination in that book! So anyway, I saw the movies and of course it didn't do the books justice. Although I liked them too.

Then the Hunger Games came along. I didn't really hear much about it except a few people has said it was good. Then the movie previews came out and I thought to myself WOW what a horrible plot! How sad! Then more people kept saying how good it was and that I should read it. So I thought back to Twilight and told my self I would give it a try. Guess what? I can't help but love the crazy story of how life could be like if PEACE left this world! The book reiterates my feelings of how we should be treating each other! And how I should have treated these books lol. :) I have not seen the movie yet and I'm preparing my self to be disappointed as the movies are never as good as your own imagination. From now on though I'm not going to pass off a book that I think I will not like. Instead I am going to embrace it in my favorite reading spot. Curled up in my bed WITHOUT ANY SHOES ON! <3

Warning! Explicit lyrics to peaceful thoughts.

I have been struggling on what to write next. I have had many instances that I could write about but nothing sounded good to me once typed out. My mind has been all over the place lately. Prioritizing, and organizing every aspect of my life. I guess that has gotten in the way of my Blog lol :).   So then a thought came to mind. Why don't I just share two things with you that I have already written. Two poems that are dear to my heart. Some of you have already read them but here I will share with you my feelings about them and how I came to write them. So here goes the first one.....

Surrender

What wonder what wonder
We see all this thunder
Judgement and hatred
Make us go under

Fuck you, says who
Yea you, that dude
Don't you know?
You should have known better
There you go again judging another

But when judging one judging
Arent we doing it too?
Having the last word
Makes you the fool

Peace is speechless
No words worthy to describe it
So lets all be like peace
and just be quiet

How do you hear peace anyway?
In your head, in your heart, and actions today?
We should feel it with meaning and harmony.
Bleeding hearts with peace seem strong to me

Hates a strong word but peace is stronger
And if that weren't true
We wouldn't be here any longer

Riddle me that you hatred lovers
We don't care if you look down on us
Ive explained everything in my words before
I hope it shakes your mind and rocks you to the core!




Now That you have read it I'll tell you why it came out of me for you to see. At this point in my life I was tired of no one getting along and always arguing! I was feeling low, sad, mad, and determined! Knowing that I things could be better if we could just HEAR each other.. and because of that this came out.. :) Through all of this I did something and things got better which led me to the second one...


I Believe in Sunshine

I believe in sunshine
I believe in rain
I believe that praying
is what will ease the pain
Imagine if we couldn't
or prayer didn't exist,
What would we do?
How many would be slain?
Instead of crying "help me God"
We'd have no words to scream!
I believe in sunshine
I believe in rain
I believe that praying
is saying thanks for our grateful gain
Imagine if we couldn't
or prayer didn't exist
We'd have no one to thank
For this humble abyss!
I believe that praying
is something you don't want to miss!

So.... Now that you have read both. Peace, Prayer, Love, Happiness, all of these are what I'm trying to accomplish in my life and with this blog! I have never been really that open about things that are dear to me things that I cherish but we all should be! I hope that my boldness in stepping out will encourage you all. In whatever way that may be. Have a wonderful day!!!!!

PS: the picture at the top features " I Believe in Sunshine " It was made by one of the people who inspire me most in life! My Aunt Kristen! :) I love her very much! You would too if you knew her! She is also one who tries to "walk without shoes" Check her creations out here: Peaceful Treasures

When you are the judged... To care or not to care and how do you move on from there?

Hello again my fellow bare feet peeps! I must admit since my last blog I have had more struggles than I thought I could handle. I have been put in situations where I just wanted to crawl in a hole and die, but did I? NO! I've done that before and it never works. Which brings me to talk about what happened when its me (or almost me) as the person being judged. I normally try not to dwell on the past but it intertwines with more recent events so just bare with me. :)

 Now for those of you who know me, know I usually don't care what people think of me. You know I've always said I'm not here on this earth to impress anyone but the big man. I'm here to be me! But I recently found out something new about myself. I'm the biggest momma bear this world has ever seen! I can become the worst of me when it comes to protecting my kids. Of course I have always thought that I would be there to protect my babies and stand up for them if I have to but until a little while back I had never been in a situation to have to actually do that. Saying I was put the test is a understatement but lets just go with that.

So I was put to the test! (In more ways than one! It must have been an exam!) I was put in a situation where I had to make a important decision fast. Turns out I made the wrong one and because of that my child was judged poorly! Things were said about them that the person didn't have a right to say. They read his book by the cover, if you understand what I'm saying. Gave him one chance, one day, just to give him a label no one deserves or wants to have. Every part of me wanted to lash out and scream and tell them how wrong they were but I didn't do it. What did I do? I apologized to them. I cried, and cried,... and cried,... and cried. I suddenly cared what someone else thought! Not of me but of what they thought of my son! I wanted to protect him! But I realized that I was the only one being effected by what the person had said. My son didn't hear the remarks and he never will! So I made myself get over it. The next day I had to face this person for what I thought would be the last time. I sucked up every bit of pride I had and did what I had to do thinking this would be the last time I would ever have to deal with or think about the situation again. Boy was I wrong!

My son and I began a new journey. Going to an event happy and excited to be experiencing "a first" with him I suddenly got stopped in my tracks. Someone else was there also happy and excited to be sharing "a first" with their loved one. Suddenly I started to feel all the same emotions from the past well up inside me. I wanted to run! I said a prayer and made myself stay and forget about the past. Running away wasn't going to solve or prove anything except that I'm a coward to face my fears. The fear of my son getting hurt! Which in reality was the fear of hearing bad comments or opinions about my son. (me getting hurt) Instead of hiding from it I told myself that this was a new day, a new experience! And maybe, just maybe I made a mistake in miss judging that person to think that we could never be okay again. I really didn't know them and they really didn't know me but what I do know is that we were both set on the same path for a while and hopefully we might learn something. To grow in our ability to accept others. Whether it is the ability to accept people for who they really are and not for what you thought they were or the ability to accept people for the mistakes they made and move on. After all, we are all on the same road of life.

My struggles did not end there. There is a lot more to come! I just didn't want you guys reading a chapter book in one post!  So until next time don't be afraid of getting those bare feet dirty! Just don't forget to clean them up! <3

Post a blog already! Geeez!

I know I know! As you all know life catches up with ya and its all you can do to keep up! In all that catching up though I have noticed myself stopping and taking a look around. Breathing, and telling myself that its okay if I just don't get that blog done today, or its okay if I go to bed with dirty dishes. Life is life, its not going to stop and be on pause so I can get something done. So instead of worrying if I'm getting everything done or not I'm just going to live my life. Day to day, minute by minute. Soak it in, the good and the bad. Maybe my new en devour is working eh? Idk.... lets find out.

Okay so back to this judging thing. In these past days when I was slacking on writing my blog instead of going bare foot I had my knee high boots strapped on! Which brings me to my question. What in the world do you do if your judgements were right!? Then I thought judgements are sort of like opinions and sometimes it could just be intuition. How do you decipher the differences? And then I thought to myself "Well everyone has judged, has opinions, and has intuition so what if its not that we have or do all of these. What if its really about what we have done and will do with them?" I think judging gets such a bad rep because everyone is always using it so negatively! Then I thought hmmm have I ever read the definition of "Judgement"? So I looked it up and this is what it said: "the ability to judge, make a decision, or form an opinion objectively, authoritatively, and wisely, especially in matters affecting action; good sense; discretion" and then this one: "the forming of an opinion, estimate, notion, or conclusion, as from circumstances presented to the mind."


I specially like the first one. I like it because it tells us how wrongly we use our ability to judge. In all our ignorance and glory we provide our opinions about the slightest of things everyday. Hardly do we ever stop to think have I researched this, do I know the back story, and what is it that I am not seeing about this before we open our big huge mouths. 

Okay okay, I sort of got off track here. I asked "what do you do when your judgements were right?" I really don't have the answer to this except I think we should act out the first definition of judgment up there. Form a opinion WISELY with good sense and discretion.  I think this should help weed out all of the negative, worthless, and mean judgements people tend to make. This has helped me cope with my harsh feelings on myself for having such a peaceful nature but yet still judging others. If I just do what I set out to do and walk bare foot, whisper to myself "no shoes", not just think before I speak but REALLY think, then I believe I can  use the ability to judge with respect and still walk in this journey of life with others. Others who I may not; agree with, love, know, work with, or talk to. I may not be able to stop my self from the actual act of judging but I can make myself aware that I don't know their story, I don't know all the facts and I sure as the world don't know enough about the situation to give my opinion and if I do, well then I can then remind myself to judge wisely with good sense and discretion. This is where the whole "Love with Feet" thing can come into play. If it is a situation that needs help of some sort then instead of just stating my opinion I can act on it and maybe try and help someone, brighten their day, or just be the tiny little something that would give that person the umph to keep going and be okay.  OR do what is necessary in a horrible and bad situation.


So with all this being said I wanted to just say that I have been blessed with lots of folks in my life who live their life the way I am trying to get others to do by writing this blog. I have learned so much from them and I love each of them dearly! With peace and love and walking bare foot I'll see ya next time.. 


PS: Have I ever mentioned that I LOVE shoes?!

Day 3. Things aren't always what they seem.

Good Morning Everyone!

I fell asleep watching a movie with my husband so I didn't get to post my blog last night. Anyway, yesterday (day 3) was well, educational. I had someone ask me yesterday after they read my blog if I was struggling with judging people. My first answer was "no not really" but then I quickly said wait, yes! Yes, I do. If I would have kept with my first answer I would have been a lying! In the past I thought I did great at not judging others. I always thought that I was nice and always gave people the benefit of the doubt. Which I still am and do those things but as I moved one day forward in my journey of walking with no shoes I only realized greater how much I actually do have thoughts about others. I think because I have started this journey it has awakened me to things that I was not aware about myself before. It is so hard to not think about what I would do in a situation instead of what someone else has done. I think what is important though is that boundaries are made and you realize what you have thought or done and recognize that it was not really the right thing to say, do, or think. Imagine how bad it would be if no one ever realized what they were doing. I think that is the problem with judging! I also think that there are different degrees of it. Now this doesn't mean that one type is "better to do" than the other per say but I just think there are different ways you can judge. I'll give you an example of what I mean by this. If I see a chick walking down the street with pink hair with tattoos and piercings all over her I don't give it a thought where as others may think "oh there goes trouble" Now I'm pretty good at not judging people in that way except the fact that I might think to myself "dang I love her hair, wish I had the balls to pull that off" which can still be argument-ed as a judgement. I have realized that the judgement I am horrible about is giving my un asked for opinion of what I would do if I were in someone else's shoes.  When I figured this out, I found it VERY Ironic they way I chose to start this blog and that I chose to do this blog on the topic I did. I have been on my journey of awakening for probably about the past year or so now and I believe very much that once you are on that journey you subconsciously do, say, and think things that you are supposed to be working on in your life without even realizing it.  Now back to my conversation with the person above that asked me if I was having trouble judging people. We went on to talk about this very subject. They shared with me that they once had an experience that they had realized that what they thought about a few people were the total opposite once they met those people. I think it is ironic that I had this conversation with them because something happened to me later on that evening when I went to church. Now last week or so I was talking to another friend from church. We were talking about someone we knew mutually and how she was trying to get her to come to church. I'm not sure whether I said this out loud or thought it but I said " She will never come to church". Well guess what. I walk in last night at church and guess who was there! The person I thought would never come! I judged her wrongly! Hmmm. I just had a thought, Church! Now there is a huge topic to cover on judging! And guess what our sermon talked a little bit about last night... You guessed it! :) I am being hit over the head with this thing left and right. I bet a lot of you who know me didn't realize I even went to church. Well I do and I am happy with the one I go to. Why you ask? Because they are the only church I have been to that realizes and shares with people that we should "Love with Feet". (meaning get up and do something to help) No matter who you are, no judgements, just love with feet! :) Interesting how they just came out with this slogan around the same time that I had the thought for us all to take off our shoes and walk together! I think I will leave you with this.. In these past few months even though I still judge like crazy, I have realized that I want to speak out about everyone "getting along" helping each other out, loving each other, no matter who you are, what you do, what you look like, who you love, I want to Take off my shoes and Love with Feet! I just hope that everyone else in this world wants to do the same.

Day 2. This is hard!

Wow! Someone didnt want me to post this thing today. After an hour of trying to get my nook keyboard to come up I am ready to share with you guys day 2. Today started out good. I actually had a conversation with a man getting my coffee at the store on my way to work that in the past I probably never would have. I always have felt funny talking to strange men in public. I would always just say the polite hi and be on my way but today I stepped out of my comfort zone. We only talked about the coffe, snow and my car but hey I finally gave myself a chance to realize that strange men in public really arent always strange. Another thing I did without thinking today was helped out a person in need without even meeting or knowing them. Now I will not get into specifics and actually some of you will know what I am talking about only because you were involved with it tonight but I immeadiately felt the need to say Id help. Others asked how we knew they needed it and if we were sure they did but at that moment in time I didnt care. I thought to myself "no shoes megan". It didnt matter if they truly needed it or not. I knew that this was a chance to make a difference even if it were a small one. As for the rest of the day in between the beginning and end there were lots of moments where I felt I could have done a lot better job walking barefoot. There were lots of moments where I felt like crawling in a hole because I knew that I just thought a bad judgement thought and knew it was wrong. But knowing it was wrong didnt stop me. The two things I did accomplish in doing good today doesnt even put a small dent in all the judgement I have cast today. The biggest thing today has opened my eyes to is that I judge people way more than I ever cared to realize before and this is going to be a lot harder than I thought! As I continue on this journey I hope I can still remember to keep whispering to my self the phrase " no shoes " and maybe after some time this will get easier. Until then though its still one selfless act one split second thought one moment one conversation one smile at a time that I will work on walking a day with out shoes.

The Beginning of "A Day Without Shoes"

Hello Everyone!

This is my first Blog ever! I decided to start one because I had a thought. Everyone knows and has said the saying "If I were in their shoes" or "Why don't you try walking a mile in my shoes". Well I thought to myself how about if we all just took our shoes off and quit the judgement!? I am making a promise to my self and God that I will live my life like that day by day and write about it here. Now I know I will have struggles with this. As much as I would like to think that this is going to be easy for me given how much I love peace I also know I am human and will make mistakes. I hope by writing here everyday that I will inspire more people to take the challenge to "take off their shoes" and start living life and treating others the way we all should and all walk along this road of life together! Please join me in my new journey you never know where it might take us! Till next time... PEACE!