Waiting on God

A while back I had to take my son Tyson to the doctor for a swollen knee. Each step kept getting scarier. The doctor lead to the ER. The ER lead to tests and X-rays. Test and X-rays lead to another test to get fluid out of his knee that was infected.  That lead to surgery to clean it out which lead to a week in the hospital which lead to Tyson having Lyme disease. But that is not what this story is about! Tyson is well and healed and thankfully so! What I didn't realize was that while God was taking care of my son he was also taking care of ME! During surgery they sent us to the wrong waiting room and we waited much longer than we should have in and it was eerily quiet. No one was around. No one called us when our son was out of surgery! When I called them they said my number was disconnected which it was not! Just a mess of a long long moment of waiting! When I got there I saw a toy that had three scriptures written on it.  When I saw the toy I was at a point in my life where I was begging God to let me out of it. I was deeply hurting. I was tired. Forcing smiles. Sad. Just about hopeless! I felt utterly alone and only felt His presence in worship and song. I was walking a dangerous line with my emotions. The educated Christian in me knew He was there but the fleshly emotional me just couldn't feel Him. I "prayed" ,more like begged, that God would open my eyes to understand and see. "Why God, can't you hear me!? Aren't you there?", I would say! Being at this point and acting this way in my life I couldn't figure out what the world those scriptures were on that toy in front of me for. They didn't make sense to me for the situation at the time being there in the hospital with my son. Because, you know like we all do, we think everything has to have a meaning and a reason why it happened or why it's there so when we can't find one we are disappointed! I decided just to take a picture of the toy.  Life went on. Tyson got better as I kept  believing he would and I was still trudging forward. We began a bible study called A Woman's Heart about the tabernacle at church and around the same time Pastor spoke a sermon that broke my toes! It was on how to pray! He basically told me that I was belly aching when I prayed and didn't use my authority and he was right!  He explained How we already know God wants our Healing but that He needs us to work with Him and speak it. Don't beg God to do it, it's already been done! But instead agree with Him and speak the authority He already gave us against the things we pray for. So after that I began to pray differently! Saying, "God I thank you for giving me eyes that see! I thank you that I will have open eyes to see what I need to, to see and hear you more." I began to pray and say "I call my heart and mind healed, whole, clear and happy."At that same time the sermon happened a part of the bible study rocked my world. It allowed me to open my heart and forgive a person in my life I had been denying I even needed to forgive. I remind you this study is about how God made a place to meet with His people, the tabernacle. It's been about walking through the wilderness and Him showing us things and guiding us along the way but yet we can still be so blind. Even so, He is still there every step of the way! Every single heart wrenching, heavy step!! Okay back to the toy in the waiting room with the scriptures. After that time had passed I was feeling better about life and my walk with God. I was seeing clearer, feeling not so alone, and praying with intent instead of grumbling. I happened to come across the picture I took of the toy and I read the scriptures again. Revelation 21: 3,4 was the last scripture on that toy and it was for me! It says this; And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” (‭Revelation‬ ‭21‬:‭3-4‬ NKJV) He was after me in the wilderness! It was right there for me to see but I was blind in the waiting room! (Hmm isn't that interesting I was waiting on God to do something within me in that waiting room and I missed it then,  BUT He was STILL there! I was the one who wasn't there!) Not until I began to move with Him and walk the rest of the road in the wilderness out instead of waiting on Him would that click with me. I am still in awe at the things He did and He does for me and I say right now that you will have clear hearts, eyes and minds to see the works He's doing for you too in Jesus name!  I hope this has blessed you! Have a wonderful weekend!