Spinning

Well. My journey on A Day Without Shoes has been ongoing even though I haven't kept up with it here. Life has been spinning so fast that I have not had a chance to catch up with my thoughts. I have deep soul baring thoughts and emotions that are screaming to get out its been so long since I have written. The last 6, 8 months or so have been a whirl wind of change. I feel unsteady and about to fall any minute. I feel like I have walked without shoes for so long that now I need to put some back on and focus on me. But only for a second.................. Ahhhh. That's better! I'm writing and thinking. Which is what I love to do. Now back to the journey...

 I once told a friend that I wanted the super power of reading everyone's minds. That I would LOVE to know what everyone thought so I could know the reasoning behind their actions and words. I thought that would be very helpful on my journey. That I would have an advantage at knowing what people were going through so I could control how I treated them better. This friend told me it would break my heart. That I wouldn't be able to bare it for long. I got a glimpse into some peoples minds not long after that conversation and you know what? They were right. You know something else? I'm a sucker for punishing myself and I still want that super power. I think that if I could somehow make everyone else on this planet just a tad bit happier then it would be worth sacrificing my own happiness. That's what choices are all about right? No matter what choice you make in life there are reasoning's behind it. If I could see everyone's reasons I could make sure that I could do whatever it was that I could to make sure they wouldn't have to use their reasons. Because we all know that if they thought differently about their reasons they may do things differently. Or better yet if I were ever part of the reason they would or would not do what they truly wanted to do then I could help with that too.  I can hear a certain family member of mine saying that is your co-dependent mentality speaking right there! (Thanks Beth! lol) I know I need to accept the things I can not change and have the courage to change the things I can. I know that having these thoughts won't change the fact that I truly can't control or change what other people do or don't do or think or don't think but they are nice thoughts to have. Thoughts of being a super hero! The super hero of love and happiness! Wishes that will never come true which I do realize. I am glad that I am aware of this and have people I can talk to about it.

Okay, so what do I do from here. How do I cope with the fact that I can't have these powers? How do I cope with the fact that life isn't always what we want it to be or how we want it to be. How do I cope with the fact that I can't make everyone happy even if I try walking in their shoes to see how I can change myself to better the world? I keep trudging through life with my God by my side. I talk to Him, let Him speak to me, and feel Him there with me. Hold His hand and let Him carry my foot steps. Because when all is said and done that's where I'll be. With Him. This is not easy. This is something that a lot of people do not agree with. But that's okay. I'm used to being the weird one anyway lol.

Until next time.. think about what super power you would like to have and why you would like to have it? How would you use it and what would you be using it for? To better the world? Or your own benefit? Or both? Either way what are you going to do with what you got to make this world a better place to live?

<3
Megs

Who are we who judge?

"Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers
Nobody knows what we're for only what we're against when we judge the wounded
What if we put down our signs crossed over the lines and loved like You did"

These are some words from a song that I really love. Words so powerful and true!

This is also a great quote:

“Who are you to judge the life I live?
I know I'm not perfect
-and I don't live to be-
but before you start pointing fingers...
make sure your hands are clean!”

Most of us know who the second one is by. A lot less of us know where the first one comes from. These two quotes are from very different worlds but share common ground on a very strong issue. Lots of people use the Bob Marley quote to justify their wrong behavior in some way. Not saying that's how he intended it (I love me some Bob!) and definitely not how I take it but its like people use it to put things back on the other person who is judging if you will. The other quote is as if we are accepting that we all judge. Since we are not perfect I've learned that I'm gonna judge and so saying to someone else "make sure your hands are clean before you judge" is like a parent telling their child not to do something knowing good and well that they did it to when they were kids. It is a great lesson to teach but something that was no way possible for us to avoid doing ourselves. So what do we do? How do we avoid it? Take the last line of the first quote for example. Put down all our differences and cross over. Spend time in the others state of feelings and or way of life and learn to love them! This is not the same as agreeing with them or practicing what you may not like about them, it is simply caring for them as a human being and loving them. I also love the second line of the first quote because in the smokey air of judging someone else all that person see's is what we don't like or what would be the negative to them. They don't see our good side and what we may both like or agree on. It makes me sad that both sides can be so blind.

I realize that  I have a whole array of friends and family who read this. Some of you know each other and most of you don't. Some of you are from opposite sides of the spectrum and others of you are in the middle like me. Either way I wanted to share with you who actually was able to do the things we wish we could. Jesus! Now before some of you say whoa Megan I'm done reading your blog, hear me out. I normally wouldn't say something like this but I am coming into my own and finally learning how to be free, to be me in my whole walking without shoes journey. Anyway what I was saying was, He loved everyone no matter what. Always! Now like I said some of you may believe in Him some of you may not. So even if all of us who do believe in Him were wrong and He is just another story, (which I believe in him with my whole heart) isn't it an amazing one that we could use as a basis on how we should treat one another? Recently I have learned who He actually was/is and not who I thought or what society now days portrays Him to be. I've started doing my homework and all in all Jesus is an awesome guy! Never hurt anyone, never said a mean thing to anyone, and loved everyone for who they were. He even took all the reticule  and hatred that He was given and made it positive. Now who of you doesn't want to know someone like that? Anyway my point is that we will struggle on our walks with no shoes but we can hold on to the little quotes we find and the role models we choose to be like and follow them and ask for help cause lord knows this is hard to do on our own. We may find them in different places but no matter the place we find them most of us want the same thing. Hence my two different quotes above.

 So my hope for the moment, as I journey forward, for myself and all of you is that we can: "Open our eyes to the end of our pointing fingers and make sure our hands (or feet) get clean in the end" I love you guys! <3

Where The Heart Is

Hi!

I know it has been way tooooo long! I just got back from Somotillo Nicaragua last Saturday night. It was amazing! Since it has been so long since I have made a post I thought what better thing to write about other than my trip! :)

 My heart is torn. My whole thing of walking without shoes has an entire different meaning now. I knew there were people in the world who didn't have shoes but WOW! Nicaragua is the second poorest country beside Haiti being the first. All that "poorness" aside though they are one of the richest countries I have ever seen with LOVE! They stole my heart! Now that I am back I feel like a piece of me is missing. I also felt a piece of me missing while I was there since my boys were home. The funny thing is that no matter where I am I guess I will always have a sense of brokenness in my heart. My father always used to say to me "Megan! Never give your whole heart away" I am finding that more and more hard to do the older I get. I have bits and pieces of my heart in many different places but the one thing that makes it feel whole is to know that God has placed these places and people in my life for a reason and that my heart has become a puzzle for a reason. I guess my whole puzzle piece of a heart can be placed back together again when I get to Heaven. :) Seeing the whole picture one day will be one amazing site!

While I was in Nicaragua it was so refreshing to not have to ever think of all the judgmental things that people always talk about here. My past and just being a creature of habit tried to bring all that negativity with me but I was quickly taught that its not like that there. Or at least what I experienced wasn't. We looked different from each other and even spoke a different language but we both still felt the language of love and music. I did learn a few words in Spanish and some of them knew a little bit of English.  Enough to get me by to; one be able to communicate that "Jesus is the light" (Jesús es la luz) to the people in the villages, and two; to  be able to haggle with the shop keepers at the airport after all our interpreters had left us.

While I was struggling to handle holding the glow in the dark tattoos I brought them and the water and cloth to put them on their arms at the same time a young lady said no words. She just saw my need and began to help me. She would pour the water on the cloth when I needed it and would open the tattoo packages when I needed it as well. She waited patiently while all the other children got one and then it was time to go. Since she showed me such kindness I couldn't leave without giving her one so while we were praying I quickly gave her one! (sshh! Don't tell anyone I wasn't paying attention to the prayer that one time!)

At another village called "Ojoche" I got to sing during a Sunday afternoon church service. I was very nervous and just knew it was going to go terribly. I was so wrong! They liked my song just as much as I loved theirs. There were some boys that were clapping along to all the songs that were played that day and they were reallly getting into it! I loved knowing that even though we couldn't understand each others words we could understand the wonderful feeling that music has to offer us.

As the week went on I began to get very sad. I didn't want to leave these beautiful people behind. We had so much to offer each other. At one point on the van going back to Managua we stopped to let one of our translators out so he could catch another bus back to his home town. I didn't realize we were saying goodbye to him before we got back to the city. Since I was already sad in the first place when he got out of the van I just broke down. His name was Roger and he is a wonderful guy! So willing to help whenever and wherever needed. He always made sure we were all together keeping a head count on us. Making sure we didn't forget anything and just truly a nice guy! I enjoyed getting to know him in the little bit of time I did even if wasn't his whole life story I learned enough about him to know I gained a friend. All the interpreters were AMAZING people! I came to love them all and can not wait to see them again next year!

 I hated leaving but was VERY happy to give my boys a HUGE hug! Now that I am back in the states I can't wait to go back to Nicaragua and give them a HUGE hug! I guess this will be a beautiful never ending circle of life, love, and compassion. I have only just begun to tell you about my trip but there is just no way to get it all out in one go so  till next time I leave you with a few of my favorite pics from the trip. Hope you enjoy!

PEACE!

No shoes for my Birthday

Today, the day after my birthday I am going to share with you something I normally would not share with anyone. In the past I would just keep it to myself. Well not today. :) Yesterday I woke up in a good mood of course because of what day it was but my mood quickly turned from there. I became sad and my feelings got hurt. My son's didn't tell me Happy Birthday (which told me that my husband must not have reminded them) and my husband took well until I was just about to walk out the door to mention it and when my son's finally did figure out it was my birthday my youngest said "well fine then NOT happy birthday to you" because I wouldn't let him go outside and play when it was time to be getting ready and eating breakfast. Needless to say I suddenly became bummed out. Feeling down on myself I set out to work saying a prayer that my day would turn around. It took getting through the day to realize how crucial it is to pay attention to your emotions because they are actually indicators not dictators. Indicators on how you feel so you can sort through them and feel better NOT to dictate how the rest of your day will go. In the past I would dwell on the emotions I felt that morning allll day long. Not now! I started to realize this when some people very dear to me gave me a mug for my birthday. The mug had a saying on it that said: "this is my wish for you: comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, hugs when spirits sag, sunsets to warm your heart, friendships to brighten your being, beauty for your eyes to see, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, patience to accept the truth, courage to know yourself, and love to complete your life." I immediately felt an array of emotions.  I felt Disappointment in myself on how I had felt about my loved ones actions that morning, Love for having such amazing people in my life, and I felt determination that I would learn from my morning by realizing that if I could just remind myself daily that the wish this person had for me is the same wish I have for my family and others that I may not have reacted the way I did over their actions. If I could apply those wishes to my own life and wish them for myself then I could change the way my feelings make me behave. I miss judged my family that morning. I miss judged that my husband forgot my birthday when in reality he was still waking up and in the bed when I left and my children, well I remind them lots of things daily and they still forget. My youngest was only doing the same thing I was doing and letting his emotion dictate instead of indicate. (I learned that I must work on that with my children) I let my emotions dictate how the rest of my day would go instead of letting them be an indicator on how I needed to change myself for the better. It took one simple special gift to teach me a huge lesson that I thought I already knew. I knew how I felt about my family and my wishes for them but I needed to exercise it and my internal problems hindered me from that. I realized for the first time in my life that I had not been walking bare foot with my family. I have been trying my hardest to do this with the rest of the world not realizing that I was leaving some very special people out on my mission. I vowed to myself that I would no longer exclude them on my journey to walk barefoot.

Yesterday ended up being a awesome day! Although I received lots of love and gifts from a lot of rockin people that I love dearly the biggest and best gift I received on my birthday was from myself and it was yet another grand lesson on walking barefoot.

So its been a while....

Hi guys! It has been a while since I've been able to get on here and post something but guess what? When you start a journey and pray about it God sure does take you straight on thru it! Walking with out shoes has been one of the hardest most eye opening experiences I've ever challenged myself to do! Oh I have had LOTS of things I have wanted to just get on here immediately and vent about but I knew that if I did that my raw emotions may be poured out when it might not have been what I was truly feeling. OR I knew it was wrong to feel that way and I wanted to stay true to my journey SO, I hope you understand my prolonged absence. BUT, I'mmmm baacckk! haha :) Since I have written last my life has taken some twists and turns and mostly for the good. New beginnings are ahead and I've had lots of firsts in my life this past year (including this blog) and many new ones to come.   I have lived and learned a lot of life's lessons including but not limited to; who your real friends are, why you should and/or should not do something important to you, handle your self in a raw and ugly position, be nice even when you don't want to, stand up for myself, be a better mom and wife, never give up, forgive, and finally let go.. Those were just to name a few lol :) Anyhow, all of those things came with a tough situation and tough decisions all in which I am happy with my choices. Every single choice changed myself, my family, my friends, and our everyday life. I had to ponder, pray, and be sure that I would not regret any choice I made which includes the judgements I felt I was doing on others and how others would judge me. I realized though in the midst of all of it that non of it mattered. What mattered was that I stayed true to my beliefs while respecting myself and all of those around me. As long as I got those two things in the bag all my decisions would turn out okay. God has our back and he is our ultimate judge. I have noticed that while the journey to live without shoes is hard and will stay hard it also seems easier. The decision to be this way is hard and takes a lot of mental work but life allllll around you seems to get easier after you make the choice to be considerate and not let hate live in your heart. It's funny how things can be two opposite things at once but they can be! I never thought it possible but then there is something else I learned! IT'S POSSIBLE!!! What's possible you ask? ANYTHING! Healing, Miracles, Love, a better world! It's all possible if you just believe and do your part! You can change the world around you with one small step at a time! Which leads me to share some good news on where my bare feet are taking me. In October I will be heading off to Nicaragua on a mission trip! I am wayyyyy excited! I can not wait to see what this trip has in store for not only me but those who are going with me and specially those who we will be helping when we get there. This trip is a big deal for me! For those of you who know me know I've only been as far as the car I was in could take me which is far south as Florida, as far north as New Jersey, as far west as GA/TN and as far east as well here good ol VA. I've never been on a plane and here my first flight will be to a third world country. How's that for gettin her done? Anyway, I think I have bore you enough with my writings but I hope to be keeping up with my journey a little better than I have been and I hope you will still walk without shoes with me one day at a time and PLEASE if you haven't before let me know your experiences. I would love to hear them!

<3 Megan

The Kind of Judgement No One Cares About

So I thought I would take a break from all of the deep stuff I've been writing. (I need a break! The harder I try the heavier my heart feels.)  I did realize something new about myself though. I was looking up pictures from The Hunger Games movie. (I am almost finished with the 3rd book) A thought crossed my mind. "From now on Megan if you say a book looks stupid you should read it anyway!"

I said this to myself because every time I think a book looks stupid or I think I wouldn't like it and resist from reading it I get told a million times about how good it is and I ignore the people who tell me to read it. Then one day (after they have either made a movie about it or the sensation has grown cold) I finally read it and guess what.. yup! I LOVE IT! So I figure THIS right here is where the statement "never judge a book by its cover" came from! (yup, I got some blonde in me!) I always thought it was something some teacher or parent made up to help us to learn not to under estimate, judge, or pick on people. Which of course it is used for that as well but I never realized how literal I should take it!

It all began with the Twilight series. ( I know, I know, gimme a break will ya? lol ) It came out and I thought to myself oh geez oh stupid! I hate vampire stuff. I have never liked it so why would I like this book? How can a vampire story be a love story? No one could EVER love a vampire! I was told by a friend just give it a try and if you don't like it then just give it back. So I finally said alright. I started to read the book and to my amazement I absolutely loved it! I finished all the books in a matter of 2 weeks! Stephanie Meyer definitely put her heart and imagination in that book! So anyway, I saw the movies and of course it didn't do the books justice. Although I liked them too.

Then the Hunger Games came along. I didn't really hear much about it except a few people has said it was good. Then the movie previews came out and I thought to myself WOW what a horrible plot! How sad! Then more people kept saying how good it was and that I should read it. So I thought back to Twilight and told my self I would give it a try. Guess what? I can't help but love the crazy story of how life could be like if PEACE left this world! The book reiterates my feelings of how we should be treating each other! And how I should have treated these books lol. :) I have not seen the movie yet and I'm preparing my self to be disappointed as the movies are never as good as your own imagination. From now on though I'm not going to pass off a book that I think I will not like. Instead I am going to embrace it in my favorite reading spot. Curled up in my bed WITHOUT ANY SHOES ON! <3

Warning! Explicit lyrics to peaceful thoughts.

I have been struggling on what to write next. I have had many instances that I could write about but nothing sounded good to me once typed out. My mind has been all over the place lately. Prioritizing, and organizing every aspect of my life. I guess that has gotten in the way of my Blog lol :).   So then a thought came to mind. Why don't I just share two things with you that I have already written. Two poems that are dear to my heart. Some of you have already read them but here I will share with you my feelings about them and how I came to write them. So here goes the first one.....

Surrender

What wonder what wonder
We see all this thunder
Judgement and hatred
Make us go under

Fuck you, says who
Yea you, that dude
Don't you know?
You should have known better
There you go again judging another

But when judging one judging
Arent we doing it too?
Having the last word
Makes you the fool

Peace is speechless
No words worthy to describe it
So lets all be like peace
and just be quiet

How do you hear peace anyway?
In your head, in your heart, and actions today?
We should feel it with meaning and harmony.
Bleeding hearts with peace seem strong to me

Hates a strong word but peace is stronger
And if that weren't true
We wouldn't be here any longer

Riddle me that you hatred lovers
We don't care if you look down on us
Ive explained everything in my words before
I hope it shakes your mind and rocks you to the core!




Now That you have read it I'll tell you why it came out of me for you to see. At this point in my life I was tired of no one getting along and always arguing! I was feeling low, sad, mad, and determined! Knowing that I things could be better if we could just HEAR each other.. and because of that this came out.. :) Through all of this I did something and things got better which led me to the second one...


I Believe in Sunshine

I believe in sunshine
I believe in rain
I believe that praying
is what will ease the pain
Imagine if we couldn't
or prayer didn't exist,
What would we do?
How many would be slain?
Instead of crying "help me God"
We'd have no words to scream!
I believe in sunshine
I believe in rain
I believe that praying
is saying thanks for our grateful gain
Imagine if we couldn't
or prayer didn't exist
We'd have no one to thank
For this humble abyss!
I believe that praying
is something you don't want to miss!

So.... Now that you have read both. Peace, Prayer, Love, Happiness, all of these are what I'm trying to accomplish in my life and with this blog! I have never been really that open about things that are dear to me things that I cherish but we all should be! I hope that my boldness in stepping out will encourage you all. In whatever way that may be. Have a wonderful day!!!!!

PS: the picture at the top features " I Believe in Sunshine " It was made by one of the people who inspire me most in life! My Aunt Kristen! :) I love her very much! You would too if you knew her! She is also one who tries to "walk without shoes" Check her creations out here: Peaceful Treasures