Well. My journey on A Day Without Shoes has been ongoing even though I haven't kept up with it here. Life has been spinning so fast that I have not had a chance to catch up with my thoughts. I have deep soul baring thoughts and emotions that are screaming to get out its been so long since I have written. The last 6, 8 months or so have been a whirl wind of change. I feel unsteady and about to fall any minute. I feel like I have walked without shoes for so long that now I need to put some back on and focus on me. But only for a second.................. Ahhhh. That's better! I'm writing and thinking. Which is what I love to do. Now back to the journey...
I once told a friend that I wanted the super power of reading everyone's minds. That I would LOVE to know what everyone thought so I could know the reasoning behind their actions and words. I thought that would be very helpful on my journey. That I would have an advantage at knowing what people were going through so I could control how I treated them better. This friend told me it would break my heart. That I wouldn't be able to bare it for long. I got a glimpse into some peoples minds not long after that conversation and you know what? They were right. You know something else? I'm a sucker for punishing myself and I still want that super power. I think that if I could somehow make everyone else on this planet just a tad bit happier then it would be worth sacrificing my own happiness. That's what choices are all about right? No matter what choice you make in life there are reasoning's behind it. If I could see everyone's reasons I could make sure that I could do whatever it was that I could to make sure they wouldn't have to use their reasons. Because we all know that if they thought differently about their reasons they may do things differently. Or better yet if I were ever part of the reason they would or would not do what they truly wanted to do then I could help with that too. I can hear a certain family member of mine saying that is your co-dependent mentality speaking right there! (Thanks Beth! lol) I know I need to accept the things I can not change and have the courage to change the things I can. I know that having these thoughts won't change the fact that I truly can't control or change what other people do or don't do or think or don't think but they are nice thoughts to have. Thoughts of being a super hero! The super hero of love and happiness! Wishes that will never come true which I do realize. I am glad that I am aware of this and have people I can talk to about it.
Okay, so what do I do from here. How do I cope with the fact that I can't have these powers? How do I cope with the fact that life isn't always what we want it to be or how we want it to be. How do I cope with the fact that I can't make everyone happy even if I try walking in their shoes to see how I can change myself to better the world? I keep trudging through life with my God by my side. I talk to Him, let Him speak to me, and feel Him there with me. Hold His hand and let Him carry my foot steps. Because when all is said and done that's where I'll be. With Him. This is not easy. This is something that a lot of people do not agree with. But that's okay. I'm used to being the weird one anyway lol.
Until next time.. think about what super power you would like to have and why you would like to have it? How would you use it and what would you be using it for? To better the world? Or your own benefit? Or both? Either way what are you going to do with what you got to make this world a better place to live?
<3
Megs
