Today, the day after my birthday I am going to share with you something I normally would not share with anyone. In the past I would just keep it to myself. Well not today. :) Yesterday I woke up in a good mood of course because of what day it was but my mood quickly turned from there. I became sad and my feelings got hurt. My son's didn't tell me Happy Birthday (which told me that my husband must not have reminded them) and my husband took well until I was just about to walk out the door to mention it and when my son's finally did figure out it was my birthday my youngest said "well fine then NOT happy birthday to you" because I wouldn't let him go outside and play when it was time to be getting ready and eating breakfast. Needless to say I suddenly became bummed out. Feeling down on myself I set out to work saying a prayer that my day would turn around. It took getting through the day to realize how crucial it is to pay attention to your emotions because they are actually indicators not dictators. Indicators on how you feel so you can sort through them and feel better NOT to dictate how the rest of your day will go. In the past I would dwell on the emotions I felt that morning allll day long. Not now! I started to realize this when some people very dear to me gave me a mug for my birthday. The mug had a saying on it that said: "this is my wish for you: comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, hugs when spirits sag, sunsets to warm your heart, friendships to brighten your being, beauty for your eyes to see, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, patience to accept the truth, courage to know yourself, and love to complete your life." I immediately felt an array of emotions. I felt Disappointment in myself on how I had felt about my loved ones actions that morning, Love for having such amazing people in my life, and I felt determination that I would learn from my morning by realizing that if I could just remind myself daily that the wish this person had for me is the same wish I have for my family and others that I may not have reacted the way I did over their actions. If I could apply those wishes to my own life and wish them for myself then I could change the way my feelings make me behave. I miss judged my family that morning. I miss judged that my husband forgot my birthday when in reality he was still waking up and in the bed when I left and my children, well I remind them lots of things daily and they still forget. My youngest was only doing the same thing I was doing and letting his emotion dictate instead of indicate. (I learned that I must work on that with my children) I let my emotions dictate how the rest of my day would go instead of letting them be an indicator on how I needed to change myself for the better. It took one simple special gift to teach me a huge lesson that I thought I already knew. I knew how I felt about my family and my wishes for them but I needed to exercise it and my internal problems hindered me from that. I realized for the first time in my life that I had not been walking bare foot with my family. I have been trying my hardest to do this with the rest of the world not realizing that I was leaving some very special people out on my mission. I vowed to myself that I would no longer exclude them on my journey to walk barefoot.
